my sisters under your porch take her home
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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