she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize