Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
