it's not cheating when I paid for it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
