But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Randomize
