these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
