ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
there was a trapeze. enough said
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
