I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
