They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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