Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
