I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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