He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
