so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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