At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
