It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
