Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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