some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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