By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize