She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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