I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
