the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
