Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
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