you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
