I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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