I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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