i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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