I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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