Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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