i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize