Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
