Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
