She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
