I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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