Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I will pee on everything he values.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
