Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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