i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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