Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
