I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
