Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
