i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i think i have herpe
just one?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
