I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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