I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
