if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
