so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
