going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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