TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
