So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
