All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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