This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
