Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
