he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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