I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
