So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
