you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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