i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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