A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize