i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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