I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
