I think im going to throw up on grandma
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
