We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
