I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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