somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I FOUND THE LEGS
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize