apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
