That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
