i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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