No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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