i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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