This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We left an ass print on the piano.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
