So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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