We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
